When you start off something new, anything new, it like being a teenager being between stages, neither an adult yet neither a child. It is a phase of being a fluffy bunny.
First off, there is always a romanticized feeling about new beginnings, about starting off something new, be it a relationships, religion, jobs, school, lifestyle. There is that thrill, energies and untold potential behind it all. There is a deep air of mystery and anticipation behind it. This initial phase consists of doing a lot of playing and pretending, thus the term "wanna be" Often times just like when people are teenagers they surround themselves with other like minded "wanna be's" not necessarily to learn from each other as much as to come together in safety. For starting off any new adventure is really, really scary.
Then something comes to dislodge you initially from that safety nest - be it unemployment - having to go to college - a vision - or marriage or some other right of passage. It is a hard bounce into the reality of what you undertake. It is that moment as in the movie the Matrix - do I take the red pill or blue pill. I have to make a choice now and it will forever change everything. Another example of this is a 1st year college student who flunks out his/her first semester due to excessive partying. It is the end of being a fluffy bunny......at least for the moment!
Once you get past this faze you realize how much dedication, preparation, study, countless internal sparring, refining, energy and time is required for this goal. It is beyond reaching the goal. It is a literal transforming and shapeshifting yourself into something new.
Many people fail due to the fear of being overwhelmed, losing a sense of themselves. They get childishly impatient about how their version of becoming an adult does not match up with reality. They get very lonely, for this journey must be taken alone. There are immense fears of being a failure, questioning your abilities, losing all the time and energy you have put into it for nothing. It is enough to send anyone of us in any phase of change - whether we choose to call ourselves a fluffy bunny or not - running for the hills (((LOL))) or back to our old secure place of being a fluffy bunny!
What keeps those of us going on despite this is a burning desire for something more than what we have, a passion for a new direction. There is that fear of returning back to that old self that no longer fits - like an old high school t-shirt. What also keeps us going it that there is that slowly seeing of changes within us and that thread of hope in seeing things move forward just one more step further. It wets our appetite just that much to want to keep going.
This blog is in dedication to anyone who tries anything new, anyone who embarks upon something new and fully embraces that effort. It is to all those fluffy bunnies, myself included. Beginnings are always very messy, but so worth the effort if we stay the course. We become transformed into something entirely new. We become a work of art.