Yesterday I had my most beautiful outdoor/spiritual experience since my recent crisis over a week ago. There is a park near by me that has many playgrounds, many paved paths. I am industrious enough to find the hidden nooks and crannies that most people don't traverse. I parked my car by the creek and almost immediately I was rewarded - I was not sure whether I saw a woodchuck in the water or a baby beaver, swimming across the creek, but it was definitely a mammal. Walking further I stood over the bridge and marveled at the beauty of the river in both directions, stunning waters glistening in the sun as it was starting to set. There was a steady breeze blowing swaying the many weeping willows by the water. As walked on the broken asphalt path, I saw goslings scurrying across, watchful parents corralling them in, suspiciously looking at me. 

I moved even farther away from the playground to a more wilder wooded area. There I saw the most picturesque site in years -  a field of dandelions amongst the trees. I swear it was something out of magazine or a children's book it was so natural and beautiful. I was so moved by it that I had to sit my butt - dress pants and all in the semi muddied dirt of that field. It was amazing to see the wind ripple through the grass like waves on an ocean. It was so nice, just to feel so small and witnessing it all. It was so different than my everyday life where I am surrounded by only a handful of beings at any one point in time. Here there was lives upon lives here, some bigger than me and probably older, some like the dandelions just born this season. I can't tell you the sacredness of being allowed to feel so small in the midst of such a brimming symphony of life.

Making my way back, my last treat still lay waiting for me. I looked at the trees on my path and started to make individual faces and souls. It was not that I saw it in the bark but saw it spiritually. You know that old saying "I can't tell the difference between (fill in your race), they all look exactly alike". It because you have not immersed yourself deeply enough to understand their individuality. It was no different with nature and things we do not consider human.

As I walked back to my car, I realized more and more this is the type of life I want to live. This is where I truly belong, not just as an occasional weekend excursion into a park. I want to daily behold this beauty and live amongst the woods the rest of my days. I want to become more of a part time visitor to the human realm vs. the natural world.