Creative people have always been an immense attraction for me. To me they are the what really make the world move, especially my world.  As I write this, I'm reminded by so many different movies. One that stands out regarding creativity, is Mona Lisa Smile - very much reccomended 

       Creativity is involved in so many things. It is kind of a generic word that I fear many people who do not participate in it, do not really know it's immensity, nor really take it seriously. It is not just about thinking up an idea and leaving it half baked there. It is deconstructing and daring to do something different. It is finding what that something different is. It is slowly nurturing that idea and bringing it into concrete form, adding and discarding expectations and ideas near constantly along the way. Underneath it all there is a terror "will this really work?" "will all of this work be for nothing?" This brings about a delightful and painful tension in your body from head to toe. I liken it to what pregancy may feel (smiles and laughter). Except none of my ideas ever mulled in my gut for 9 months and defintely not the physical pain. But it is the closest thing to pregnancy and childbirth that I will ever have. 

     Creativity is to bring different ideas, concepts, emotions into a unifying crescendo! Whether it is in writing, cooking, visual or performing art, needlework or even car mechanics. It is doing the same thing a 100 times over but each time in a different way. There is no real recipe. Like our mothers and grandmothers used to cook.

        Creative sight involves seeing something beautiful beyond it's cover, beyond the beholder's immediate uses or desires. It is about being able to take everything in without judgement and accept it for what it is. Moving away from it quietly without ill will if it does not suite them. Embracing fully it if inspires them. I think Pagans often have this site of wonder, we are able to see beyond the cold of a rain storm and into it's magnificent raw power or in the wirey silouttes of trees in the winter, not just palm trees in sunny tropical beaches. I've always been intrigued about sculptors who say they see their work of art in a chunk of stone and how they just chip away until they can get to what they have seen in it all along.

       Creavitity involves lots of passion, sensuality and intimacy. It is being spontanious, coming out of no where, yet coming out of the depths of your soul. I find the people that are the most creative are the most passionate, romantic and intimate. If there is no intimacy then there is for no motivation for them. This is not to be confused with lots of sex from many one night stands. That is not real intimacy. Though creative people are very sexual (history shows us this), they are typically not the one night stand people. They need more than just a Mc Donald's fix in all parts of their lives. They may indulge in it from time to time, but they are always looking for something of more depth/inspiration whether it is in their work or in their personal life. They love taking their time and mulling over details and concepts and letting it loose in a torrent, losing themselves in their endeavor for hours.  When there is no focus for inspiriation or creativity many will become incredibly depressed. That is why they tend to always be on the go and be involved in 10 different things at once. I know this because at any one point in time I always have at least 6 different projects in different stages of completion.

         Creativity also involves nurturing. Not just ideas but everything else in life. I've found creative people also tend to be doteing parents and mates as well. They often put others in front of themselves. They love developing things, so why would children or mates be any different. (laughter) They are incredibly understanding and know how important free will and free choice are. An organized home however is rarely in the vocalbulary of a creative person. I can't tell you how many times in the past week I've tried and with limited success put my meditation room in order, only to destroy a day later, bringing different things together. Thus we creatives often appear to be scatter brained. For me my most creative endeavor - a life long one - has been my daughter. She has been the greatest dynamic work of art hands down!

          Creativity is never clean or ordered, never scripted. It is ugly, messy, draining, inspirational and beautiful all at the same time. This is why I think many people fear it and do not seek to bring it into their lives. For many people it is more trouble than it is worth. Change is difficult. It means letting go of something and taking a leap of faith onto something new and unproven. As one of the tenants of Taoism "the one constant is change, nothing ever stays the same"  Creativity defintely involves a restless energy and spirit, it does not always let you sleep when you want to! (laughter) Thus i am here 4am in the morning, in the cold, writing.  When they finally "climax" in their work/endeavor, the emotions are very similar to great sex. There is a feeling of wonderment, peace and complete wholeness/oneness. There is also a definte need for rest and comfort. Giving birth to anything does leave a person drained. They often need not want alone time and time to think after such endeavors.

        For me I've had time to ponder this a great deal recently. I've come to the conclusion it is my life blood. One of those things I cannot live without. Covenspace has been a God/Goddess send to me for this reason and others. That is also been my draw to Paganism. It is the celebrations of the cycles of change, not an immobile belief system that believes in stagnant 1 time heaven. I find my spirituality is never the same thing twice and it is always being improved upon, like Monet  and his paintings. If he were still alive today, he would still be "touching up" his masterpieces.

        I believe this is a must see movie for everyone!!! Though I consider myself well read, I just had a movie throw a rock at my crystal glass reality. It is one of the better movies of the year for me.....yes it is a documentary.  It is a Michael Moore movie, "Sicko".  Not as raw as Fahrenheit 911, but powerful and very heart warming in the end. It not only turns the health care system on it's head, but our political and economic structure as well. Though I'm sure this movies does not say the whole story. It left many questions unanswered, but it is really interesting talk about socialized medicine. I've heard many of his claims and topics he brought out well outside "liberal" circles. I'd love to hear more from other people about this.

         Since I'm not materialistic, hate crowds of shoppers and department stores, I've enjoyed these few days to gather myself. I have to admit initially it has been tough for me to slow down, relax and be patient towards life. It really is not in my temperment, unless it concerns other people or I am outdoors. I preach this daily to my clients, but take poor heed of it myself (laughter) During this time I've really learned to feel the depth of my spirituality, through reading, writing, workouts, talks with my parents, a great deal meditations. I defintely feel greater than I was when I started this break.

      I'm also learning to slow down enjoy the sweet burn of the passionate promises of tommorrow and yet enjoy all the beauty I have in my life today. These past few days have been very therapuetic spending time with my daughter. She is the light of my life. I've had great fun with her.

          These past few weeks/month have been hectic, but one of the most wonderful in my life. A week ago I had invertedly run across a shaman in a shop who opened up my heart chakera. It had been a life changing event. Today I feel the same blissful warmth radiating from it. Today I've reconnected with it and parts of myself. I'm learning to balance many parts of my life.

         I've learned to take care and listen to my body. I recently have picked up an aversion to refined sugars and sweets in the past week or so. (((thanksgiving was tough!!!!)))) I may not agree with my body, but I am learning not to be so strong headed and am listening.

         I look forward to what Monday will bring and to be able to communicate with others. (((Love always to everyone))) Stormhawk ;)

     There is something interesting I've started recently. It is part Pagan, part personal. I started to create a timeline of my life. I also have started to compile knowledge that was sooo hard for me to earn for my daughter. Some of it is on being Pagan and my beliefs. Some of it is on love, friendship and yes eventually sex (when she is 35 years old (laughter). Not that I'm dying or anything but I thought you never know what will happen to you. Sometimes words fail you, when put together thoughts through years are more complete. To me it is like a work of art that is forever ongoing. As I grow so do these Books of Shadows and my personal thoughts. I hope this gives my daughter a deeper understanding of me!

         Disclaimer - this article comes from a pound of bacon a day man for years. One reason I do this, is not because  I am a bleeding heart "all the poor animals being killed" Everything and everyone dies. To me what is really important is respecting the dignity of how it dies, even if it means sacrificing for my own beliefs. I have no problems with hunters killing animals in a humane way = with no steal traps, goo or razor blade salt licks. I think it is great for people to get in touch with their God/Hunter side. As long as there is an appreciation for the animal and thanks given to it. Now a days animals don't come from Ma/Pa farms, they come from dank/dark factories where animals still are clucking and mooing in agony in pits filth. Some of the pictures and stories are just horrific. There is a say that states if everyone were to spend 1 day in a slaughter house, few people would ever eat meat again. 

      Another reason is the environmental impact. Even before being Pagan I've been very environmental. I love the outdoors! I've read a great deal about the immense amount of resources it takes to produce 1 pound of meat vs. 1 pound of non meat protien including transporting feed, water, gas for that transportation, rivers of animal waste that go into other farm products - like the lettuce/spinach scares.  Animals also let off an amazing amount of amonia = acid rain and methane as well as deforestation.

     Health is probably the last reason I am vegatarian. How ever there are far less chemicals and no hormones in a veggie diet compared with meat. I've noticed a lot more energy since becoming vegtarian. I no longer have an urge for a nap after dinner. Cholesteral has gone way down. I'm still learning weekly to cook new things. I eat soooo many more different things than I ever did as a meat eater. It has forced me to be more open minded and creative. Constipation is also a thing of the past (laughs)

     Being a male vegetarian has also opened me up for as many stereo types as being Pagan has. People when they first hear this seem to think that I am less manly or in some way weak, limp or simple not tough. That has put me in an interesting position I'm not really used to, but enjoy playing the part of stereotype breaker  For me this has become as important part of life as close as being Pagan. Sacrifices are made daily. I don't fit in at restarants anymore. But the rewards are worth it.